This, not this

More on the oak tree...

It's true -- you can't change the oak tree. You must accept what it is. But you don't have to accept your particular relationship to it. This is discernment. In yoga, the mantra "neti, neti," the heart of wisdom.

If the oak tree springs up in your vegetable garden, you can transplant it somewhere else, somewhere more appropriate. You have to accept what it is. But you don't have to accept where it is. As for my sunflower, I decided since it wasn't in my vegetable garden, depriving my little planties of precious nutrients, I would let it stay where it is. I want to see it grow and make a flower bigger than my head.

But if you don't want a relationship with that oak tree, or that flower, and what you really want is a rose bush, you better plant one of those. And watch out for the thorns.