But I really feel more like Bob Geldof

After nine (count 'em) NINE consecutive gray days of rain, sleet and ice, the sun came out. I mean to say--it burst into the morning and did a snoopy dance with my heart all day.

That was a day when the wind was just just right.

But what about days like today? I know the Rumi poem is meant to remind us that everyday is such a day. But it's hard to be excited about another gray Monday--the first of another eight more to come?

Good day to mainline music, aroma, touch. I guess I'll try that.

Here's something from the happiest band in the world:

Hope has come, you are safe
And it makes me cry
Because I'm on my way
On my way
On my way
Hey, it's the sun, and it makes me shine
Hey, it's the sun, and it makes me shine
Hey, it's the sun, and it makes me shine
Hey, now, it's the sun, and it makes me shine

Sun
Soon, you'll be okay
Sun
Soon, you'll be okay
And it makes me smile
Because I'm on my way

Hey, it's the sun, and it makes me shine
Hey, it's the sun, and it makes me shine
Hey, it's the sun, and it makes me shine
Hey, now, it's the sun, and it makes me smile
All around
Hey, now, it's the sun, and it makes me smile
All around, all around

Today is such a day

I as a little witchy last night. At the end of my yoga class, we were sitting in the quiet and I thought these words:

On a day
when the wind is perfect,
the sail just needs to open and the world is full of beauty.
Today is such a
day.

I didn't make up those words. It's the beginning of a Rumi poem that I love.

When our teacher started saying her closing words, she opened a book and read that exact poem. It was so strange.

There are no new ideas... but they're not all bad

Colette Brooks took my idea... I'll share it here (because not being lazy was not a resolution!)

01.02.2007
In 2007 You Are as Good as Your Word

I'm not big on New Year's resolutions, never have been. Except for resolving to shed the few pounds I gain as soon as the ocean temp drops enough to dictate a winter wetsuit. Okay, that hardly constitutes a resolution. Resolutions are steeped in firmness of purpose not firmness of buttocks.

A girlfriend of mine recently told me that this year she has decided to embrace "a word" rather than a series of commitments or goals.

Now that's something I can honestly get behind - not just for its simplicity, but much like interpretive dance, it provides ample wiggle room to screw up without feeling like a big loser.

On that note, my word for 2007 is consciousness.

****

I was going more for awareness, but I like consciousness, too. Awareness feels more intense to me. What I'm going for is more like what Geena Davis was expressing in "Thelma and Louise" when she said "I feel AWAKE."


On New Year's Day I took part in a ritual yoga practice: 108 sun salutations followed by yoga nidra practice. 108 sun salutations took about three hours. It was physically and emotionally challenging. As a moving meditation, I watched my mind go from a sort of agitated state in the beginning, to an awareness that I was no longer agitated, to empty, to surrendered to my intention to finish 108 sun salutations.

I did them all.

I felt like every cell in my body was AWAKE, conscious.

I've been sore for three days now, but it was worth it. And that's what I want to try to remember going into this year.

A little effort is required, in fact. You can't actually be lazy AND conscious.

So... there you go.

Heaven help me. I love a psychotic!

An impetuous decision ... but I think I'll make this the year to really get to know All About Eve.

Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy night.

****

Today's word of the day: Malaise

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar

Still doing a bit of thinking on the questions of the "nature" of communication out (in?) here in cyber space.

Since (and even before) I discovered the iceberg, I have self-consciously tried to analyze the motivations behind my blogging. I've been fascinated by the psyche-out factor... what am I doing here? Who am I talking to? Why? What affirmation do I seek? Who do I create here?

Your guess is as good as mine. I like putting together a thought, or a piece of a thought, and seeing if anyone (who knows I'm out here) will respond. I like coming back to the page to see what I was thinking about on whatever day. Could I do that privately? Yes. But I'm not.

Do you think I'm talking to you?

Morning thoughts from Rumi

look at love
how it tangles
with the one fallen in love

look at spirit
how it fuses with earth
giving it new life

why are you so busy
with this or that or good or bad
pay attention to how things blend

why talk about all
the known and the unknown
see how the unknown merges into the known

why think seperately
of this life and the next
when one is born from the last

look at your heart and tongue
one feels but deaf and dumb
the other speaks in words and signs

look at water and fire
earth and wind
enemies and friends all at once

the wolf and the lamb
the lion and the deer
far away yet together

look at the unity of this
spring and winter
manifested in the equinox

you too must mingle my friends
since the earth and the sky
are mingled just for you and me

be like sugarcane
sweet yet silent
don't get mixed up with bitter words

my beloved grows
right out of my own heart
how much more union can there be

{

Did I mention that I'm done?

I was telling a friend that I knew a little bit about weakness. I said I'd been dabbling in it for a while. He said that's where I went wrong. I should work harder at it.

No, I'm done with all that.

Another reason I choose volcano

Iceberg hits too close to home.

I return to a topic that motivated me to create this blog in the first place: questions involving the interpersonal and intrapsychic implications inherent(?), possible(?) in this format of "communication." What happens in this semi-anonymous space of self-revelation, self-exposure, self-exploration? And what happens in the space between MySpace and your space?

Sometime between August 8 and August 13, I screamed into this void, communicating quite clearly in fact--THIS IS NOT COMMUNICATION!!!!!

But it was. And so was my posting.

Iceberg at work.

Stuck at airport... Options:

Do you feel safer?

And now
Open your eyes and see
What we have made is real
We are in Xanadu

Why is Jenna wearing Condi's suit?

System Failure

What are you doing today?

Today's word of the day: subaltern

I've also been dreaming about icebergs and volcanos.

Do we seek that which will repair us, balance us? Or are we drawn to the familiar?

More Laurie Anderson:

Desire! its cold as ice and then its hot as fire. ah desire! first its red and then its blue. and everytime I see an iceberg it reminds me of you. doo doo doo doo doo. doo doo doo doo doo. Que es mas macho: iceberg or volcano?

It has taken twenty years, but I think I finally get her.

I choose volcanos.

Pulling a doll part

Tonight I felt a longing like the power of the ocean's tide pulling the water from a river, drawing it from the farthest mountain top, to the shore... pulling

...blood through my veins, breath through my skin, through my bones, from the outside in, energy drawn from my heart... down... to pour myself into love's ocean.

***
it was pretty cool.

***

he said: history is an angel being blown backwards into the future he said: history is a pile of debris and the angel wants to go back and fix things to repair the things that have been broken but there is a storm blowing from paradise and the storm keeps blowing the angel backwards into the future and this storm, this storm is called progress

--Laurie Anderson

the one-armed man walks into a flower shop and says: what flower expresses days go by and they just keep going by endlessly pulling you into the future. days go by endlessly endlessly pulling you into the future. and the florist says: white lily.

--Laurie Anderson (again)

More Collections from my Unconscious

So, last night I dreamed about my dad. I was yelling at him. I told him he chose the dad path, and then he chose to leave it. I was screaming at him I hate you! and hitting his big belly. (This is my usual approach to Dad in my dreams.)

Usually I wake up about that time. But this time something different happened. He grabbed me and took a potato peeler and threatened to scrape the skin off my left arm.

It was the first time he ever fought back. It was truly terrifying.

What do you think that means?

Morning thoughts from Rumi

The morning wind spreads its fresh smell.
We must get up and take that in,
The wind that lets us live.
Breathe before it's gone.

Remembering someone I never met

I received a gift from someone I never knew: the celebration of a man's life among people who knew and loved him. He was honored for the brilliance he created out of all the frailties and injustices and shortcomings of a human life.

It reminded me to pay attention.

Things you can buy at BWI

Pretty opalescent mugs and ashtrays. Very nice. I like.

Sparkly watches for $16.95. Very nice. High five!

Crabby things for crabby travelers.

I think I'll have nightmares about this.

Missing my grrrl cat

Speaker Pelosi

Courtesy Women's E-News.